Quotes For Life Funny Quotes and Humor - 08

 Blonde without seat-belt :

Blonde in a car 123RF.com

A couple were driving on the US Inter State (express way) on a week day and the traffic was  minimum. Suddenly, the husband asked his wife who was driving the car to  go parallel  with the car going in the other lane. 

After a short while, the other car  got into the   far-off lane and sped ahead. The woman  asked her husband, ''What is the reason  for it  - driving our car along  with the other one in the next lane?''.  

Came the reply. ''Darling, I was concerned about the safety of the blond woman driving the other  vehicle''.  

The lady asked him, '' Why are you so alarmed  about a strange woman  whom you don't seem to know  before? 

The man replied , " Yes, it is true   I've not seen her before, but  I have to pity her. The Blondie was driving without  a seat-belt on, besides  she was fully naked; positively,   if caught by the cops, she would be ticketed twice''. 

The face of the red-headed woman became reddish, breathing fire.

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 Bathing woman and the train:

A movie theater manage asked a strange looking man,  ''I notice that  you saw this film several times in two weeks; Does it not look odd?  It is not a good movie either, Why are you so excited about the movie?'  The man replied calmly, ''Yes, there is a reason for it. The heroine in the movie, in a village sequence, takes a  bath in the pond close to the railway tract. When  she was about to undress

wikiHow

 alas! the goods train goes past her and, by that time, she is fully clothed. My intuition is  one day the train may come late so that I can see the lady getting into the pond. The damn train goes past the village on time!!''  Upon hearing this bizarre reply, the theater manager  literally  became tongue-tied....... 

 An Indian (Asian) joke

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Biased right and marriage:

clipart-library.com

 ''In a marriage, you have to be in full agreement  with your better half to keep it going: The word 'Right' is biased and one sided.  What about the word  'Wrong? It never fights and enjoys giving company to husband.''
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Pangs of infatuation:

fotosearch.com

''Infatuation is 'love in a hurry' and there is no trust in it. It is blind like a new born puppy and when it gains sight love disappears like the willow-the-wisp. It has neither soul nor trust, a smoke screen of 'put on love'.''

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 Wilting under age:

iStock

CartoonStock.com

''Happy is a woman who marries a man of  her age. The advantage she has is when she is ageing like Mahogany furniture and has wrinkled skin, sagging chin and sunken eyes, most probably by that time,  her will go half blind enough not to notice it.'' 

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Right time to make confession:

Making confession.  babamail.com

''Making confession to your beloved wife is a great, generous  thing. It is a nice way to get rid of your pent-up feeling / emotion that is bottled up in you for a long time.  Bear in mind, when it comes to your past stupid romantic escapades indulged in a moment of aberration, have a frank chat with your old lady when she develops severe hearing impairment. Your neck is saved and your heavy heart becomes light.''  

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A drunk and a devotee

quotesideas.com

A spiritualist was telling a gathering: 

''When a man, who has never been to a temple, goes there and 
prostrates before the God, hoping his worries will be 
solved soon and he will get back his peace of mind ........

Likewise, a drunk does the same - he goes to a Tav or Pub to down his frustrations. When well-drunk, he finally prostrates on the ground with his head  overloaded with alcohol and worries. Somebody has to help him stand up on his feet.  In the former God  gives the needed impetus to the devotee, whereas in the latter the fermented brew' does the trick.''

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Telling the truth:

en.wikipedia.org

''A man was telling his fiancee, ''I drink very moderately and I avoid over-drinking.''  The woman said, '' That is good for your health as well as for a healthy married life.''  The man replied, ''If I get drunk, the problem is, besides having a bad hangover, I will become  terribly sober and you may look as ugly as a sea hag with stubs of hair in the saggy chin."

Sea Hag. enchantedamericawordpress.com

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Note:Many of the posts on Quotes for Life,Funny Quotes and Humor were published some years ago and I repost them  one by one now on  after update and correction.

Unless and  otherwise authors' names are mentioned,  quotes are mine and are not meant to hurt anybody.  Credit goes to the cartoonist and the media.....Author

K. N. Jayaraman (Author: navrangindia.blogspot.com)